He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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