this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
