I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
