I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
