Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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