we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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