"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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