I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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