stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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