i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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