it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
