yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
