yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
