Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
