yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You can't special order awesome
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
