Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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