I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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