I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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