But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize