she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
