We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
In the future we'll all be gay
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
