I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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