I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
