So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
