You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you win again, gameday.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
