I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
