i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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