i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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