Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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