You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
