hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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