He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
