He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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