y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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