i think my mom watched the whole time
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
