: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
