sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
