Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You've changed since you got that strap on
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
