i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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