So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
