Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
