he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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