Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
