I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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