I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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