i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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