Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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