you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
