You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize