He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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