Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
