You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
