Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
