you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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