hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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