I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
