We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We got so high we made milksteak
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
