i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sober January is a disaster.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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