Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
