I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
