What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
