My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
