I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
