no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Found the puke drawer
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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