He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
