Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
