Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i've created a new STD.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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