Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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