yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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