Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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