Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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