Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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