He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
