There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
