Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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