i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
