i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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